Checking My Footing

I went out to buy some summer clothes yesterday, since it’s finally gotten properly hot in July. As I tried things on and wandered the store, undecided, what caught my eye was a fluorescent pink wallet. I’ve always liked fluorescent colors, and this one was simple, understated even, despite the color. In the end, I couldn’t decide whether to buy it, and went home without it. I did want it—that’s true. But I wasn’t sure it suited me, so I left it there.

Meanwhile, from June 1st through July 11th, I spent this stretch of time deep in renewing my website. The old site was just information laid out simply. This time, I built it starting from a concept. The construction itself was hard, but I’m glad I did it.

I’ve been trying out several new, experimental things this year. I’ve been searching for about three years now, and I still haven’t landed on anything I’m certain of. Some days, like with the renewal, I can work through the decisions and get something into shape. Other days, like with the wallet, I leave things undecided.

Looking back calmly at who I was three years ago, I’m clearly different now. Nothing dramatic, but I can feel that I’ve changed. I look toward something far off, and sometimes I look down at my own feet and think it over. Some days I make the call. Some days I don’t. I think I’m still somewhere in the middle of it.